I was visiting a family who I didn’t know before. They had a palatial home that was a maze to navigate. Their house was right on the beach front. A beach with golden, soft sands and greeny-blue water as far as the eye could see.
The waves would lap against the large rocks that jutted out from the sands. Rocks that were high enough to use as a diving platform.
I felt amazing. The warm sun on my skin, and watching the palm trees gently swaying in the warm, breeze, and with a glass of ruby red wine in my hand.
I was making friends. Carefree people who were enjoying living in the moment. Rules seemed to be irrelevant on this island. It was all about total freedom and relaxation. A time to wash away all worries and focus on the joys of the moment.
I was enjoying learning to play new games and interacting with new people. Although my favourite thing was to run along the top of the rocks barefoot, feeling all the different textures underfoot and being connected to the Earth. At the end of the rocks, I would dive into the cool waters below. A rush of excitement coursing through my veins as the water hit. I had a sleek swimsuit on that glided with me through the water. The rocks and fish under the water were like a secret garden waiting for me to explore. I felt total freedom and as light as air. So peaceful, as I glided through the water.
When I broke through the surface of the water I could look back to the island. The beautiful house upon the cliffs smiling down to me. The little cove at the bottom of the steps carved into the rock. Everyone was enjoying the mood, soaking up the sun as well as the wine.
I swam back to shore. It was so easy in these waters. The gentle waves pushed me towards shore where my love waited for me.
As I walked out of the sea, brushing my wet hair down my back, I looked in the direction my love was looking. The sun was low in the sky and casting a beautiful array of pinks that were reflected back by the water.
I joined my love on the beach. He passed me a glass of wine. Together we watched as the sun descended towards the sea and gently disappeared below the horizon. It was better than any firework display and all by the hand of nature. I never felt more grounded and free.
Then… I woke up.
Then, the pain came back and the vertigo that prevented me from sitting up. I am busting for the toilet but cannot stand yet to get there. I count out my morning tablets and admire the pretty blue ones most. I have no idea if any of these work anymore. My body is so broken that I doubt it can get much worse if I just stopped all these drugs.
Eventually, I will be able to slowly get to the toilet, where I will stay sat for a while until I can get back to my bed without falling over.
My freedom and peace… are over.