I’m a little nervous today. Tomorrow I’m going into hospital again for an operation under a general anaesthetic. As nervous as I am though I keep being told, “Don’t quit”.
Generals are a bit tricky when you have fibromyalgia. I’ve had 3 before and each time I’ve been slow to recover from the anaesthetic and to heal afterwards. Of course, I didn’t know about fibro then so we didn’t know why I was like it. It just was.
So why am I going in?
I have a rare autoimmune disease of the blood called immune thrombocytopenia purpura or ITP, which is much easier to say and spell! This condition is where my immune cells destroy the platelets (thrombocytes, clotting cells) in my blood. Normal levels are between 300 and 500, whereas mine are typically in the 30s but have been single figures.
As you can imagine, certain womanly functions each month are really difficult when your blood doesn’t clot. I should have taken out shares in sanitary products! It’s bad enough with fibro but with ITP on top as well I was losing a LOT of blood and feeling very unwell.
Finally I have convinced the doctors that I’m not having any more children and they have agreed to do a uterine ablation to prevent any more bleeds. Hurrah!
I can’t have a hysterectomy yet as I’m far too high a risk of bleeding so we are trying the ablation instead. This used to be done by inserting a balloon and filling it with nearly boiling water to scold away the lining of the womb. I’ve been told though that they are going to use a different technique on me involving microwaving the lining of the womb. I don’t know which one sounds worse!! Really! Microwaving my insides! *Shudders*
Being organised for a change, I’m seeing my solicitor this afternoon and updating my will so that if there are any problems (although I will have blood on standby) Meg and her wishes will be looked after.
Reminds herself, “Don’t quit”.
This is just one of the problems with having a condition like ITP. I suspect that this is also the reason why most haemophiliacs are male. I suspect that the woman who carried the gene died out through natural selection.
ITP isn’t genetic though as far as I’m aware. It’s an autoimmune disease, and one of the rarer ones, that can be managed with today’s medical advances. Except that none of the treatments in the UK have worked for me. I just keep an eye on it with biweekly blood tests.
I don’t know when I’ll be online next but knowing me it won’t be too long. The one really good thing about this op is that I will get a good sleep that won’t be interrupted by pain. Now there’s a silver lining for you!!
I’ll see you on the other side!
When Things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and debts are high,
And you want to Smile but have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won if he’d stuck it out,
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,
You might succeed with another blow.
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might captured the victor’s cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown,
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.
[Ed. Note] There has been some controversy over the actual authorship of this poem.
Thanks to Trac, who sent me this poem to keep my spirits high.